A few months ago, my mind was drawn to some words of the American writer Ernest Hemmingway.
I have been reflecting on them as Advent has gathered around me, and I spoke of them recently to our guests at the annual Mission Carol Service in the ancient church of All Hallows by the Tower in London.
“In our darkest moments, we don’t need solutions or advice. What we yearn for is simply human connection—a quiet presence, a gentle touch. These small gestures are the anchors that hold us steady when life is too much.
Please don’t try to fix me. Don’t take on my pain or push away my shadows. Just sit beside me as I work through my own inner storms. Be the steady hand I can reach for as I find my way.
My pain is mine to carry; my battles are mine to face. But your presence reminds me I am not alone in this vast, sometimes frightening world. It is a quiet reminder that I am worthy of love, even when I feel broken.
So, in those dark hours when I lose my way, will you just be here? Not as a rescuer, but as a companion. Hold my hand until dawn arrives, helping me remember my strength.
Your silent support is the most precious gift you can give. It’s a love that helps me remember who I am, even when I forget.”
Now, not everything Hemmingway writes do I fully accept. That is not why I am sharing it with you. In particular, I know that there are situations where we can be an active part of the solution to someone’s struggles. I do not accept that when this opportunity presents itself, we should not take it. I was in a car with some of our staff in Dubai recently as they went to buy food and fuel for the crew of an abandoned vessel. They could actually do something about the seafarers’ hunger, and they did.
Nevertheless, it is far from uncommon that in their work of compassion with seafarers, Mission folk come across situations when there are actually limited options to fundamentally change a situation. Over the past few months, I have heard frequent and moving accounts from Mission staff and volunteers as they come beside seafarers. In the close and often pressured environment of a ship, the chaplain or visitor is the only person with whom a seafarer feels they can share their angst or pain. It is from the chaplain or visitor that they can receive prayerful reassurance.
One of our regional directors suggested to me recently that many people ask seafarers questions, but there are few people who are actually prepared to wait for and to listen to their answer.
It is certainly true in my own experience that, when I face my most difficult times, there is often little that another person can do to really change things. I have to tread the path into and through the difficulties myself. No one can do it for me. Nevertheless, to not be alone in that journey is the best gift that can be given. It is a gift that is offered to seafarers countless times by Mission people over the course of a year, and it stands at the very heart of what the work and ministry of chaplaincy are all about.
An anchoring presence in storms. A reminder that I am worthy of love. The reassurance that I am not alone. The hand to hold as I remember my strength. A love that helps me remember who I am, even when I forget.
When offered in the name of Christ, this is after all a message that stands at the heart of our celebration of Christmas. The very name that God takes to himself in the Christmas mystery is this: “Emmanuel”—God” with us, or God is with us.
In countless shipboard and centre meetings. In small gifts and good wishes. In the assurance of prayers. And, yes, at times, in tangible help to change a situation, the work of Mission to Seafarers speaks into the situation of seafarers, where isolation is frequently the most corrosive challenge, with this simple yet profound message, “God is with us.”.
For making this real to seafarers day in, day out over this past year and at Christmas time, either as chaplains and visitors or as those who support this vital work, I send you my thanks. And for the season for Christmas that now beckons to us, I pray that you also may know this profound truth. “God is with us.”.
Peter
